it's lovee;

.Thursday, January 13, 2011 ' 11:41 PM Y

Ok today shall blog about my feelings today.

Just got back my gsc test paper, I feel so sad and disappointed...i already know that i will fail!:( HAIZ! I just dun understand y everything i worked so hard but then in the end this is the result i get! It is EVERYTIME!

Sometimes I just feel so useless even do a simple ppt...i also take a very long time to do and never do a good job too!:( I pulled down the grades of the whole group during Entrepreneurship ICA2a.

Sometimes when i really wanna find a person to tok with but then i just cannot find a person. Maybe i must understand that She is really tired so she prefer me to sms her instead but then i dun like to sms. Maybe everytime i will just think of myself first before her. Sometimes i am very thankful to her becos she will always show her concern to me in fb, always post on my wall, comment on my status and she will always like my photos. She is my no. 1 fans.

I am a not socialable person. I am quite petty with money. Sometimes i think issit my fault? Am i really choose those that i want to make friends with?

Then nowadays, i dun have the drive to do anything...no mood to do projects, sch work or even Pastamania. My cashiering is also very slow. Everytime i felt so bad leaving Esther alone at the cashier. Becos i am so slow with the microwaving of baked items, I did not help her do any support. I want to say sorry to her. She always helped me alot during closing time and also school work. Everytime when i think of her, I will just call or sms her to ask abt schwork! Very grateful to her for helping me these 3 years!

I really dunno what is my path after poly. And i dun wan to repeat any modules! I am very scared! Very worried for Java and every other modules! I hoped that i can graduate from poly with my fellow classmates!

Sometimes, even ur own family also dun understand u. Sometimes they just dun appreciate u. Sometimes i dunno y my relationship with my family is so strained. Me and My 2nd Sister are forever not in good terms. I really very envy Cynthia and her sister. They can be so close. They can just have a heart to heart talk together. This is wat will never happened to me and my sister! I also not in good terms with my grandfather, grandmother, relatives, cousins no matter is father side or mother side. I am not anticipating this year's chinese new year! I dun want to visit anyone. I just wanna stay at home though i might not have any ang pao. But it is okay!

Sometimes, I just need a shoulder to lean on, I just need someone to tok to when i am sad and just need someone to dote on me! But then there isn't any! I felt that i have few friends. Maybe becos i am not a socialised person! I am quite quiet sometimes during group discussion. From the beginning when Sok Lei and Mr Woon tell me, i already know that is my biggest weakness and also lack of planning. I wished that one day i can improve on all my bad points. I just hoped that one day i can have more confidence in myself and i have totally changed from the past LOO XUE LING that everyone knew in 2011!

I noe that nobody will bother to read my blog. But then i just wanna to write to let myself see and have a memory of what has happened to me in the past.

loved

.Thursday, September 23, 2010 ' 8:02 PM Y

Haha...Long time never blog already. This blog have opened to public for about 1 year.
Recently happened alot alot of things
Which made me cherish my life, my family and my friends...
Yst was Mid Autumn Festival.
The moon was round and bright.
Hope everyone have a wonderful 中秋节
家好月圆。。。人月两团圆！
Erm...dunno wat to say already. So bored and no mood to write anything.
Cya soon. Nitez!
Loves: Ling

loved

.Thursday, August 12, 2010 ' 11:31 PM Y

It has been a long long long time since I blogged!

Sorry! I was pretty lazy and busy!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These few days I was bloody unlucky! :(

I GUESS MY LADY LUCK DOES NOT BLESS ME! :'((((((((((((

Sunday - Break Cheese Bottles
Monday - Stomach Ache
Wed - Phone Spoilt

I SUPPOSED BAD LUCK HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING ME! :( HAIZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

Alright, approximately 7 more days to HOLIDAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
Long Awaited Holidays!
Have been waiting for it since 5mths ++ ago!!! IT IS LIKE "FINALLY!"

Counting down => 20 AUGUST

JIAYOU FOR REPORTS AND SHOP AND SAVE!

Tml is Yan Ping, Cassandra, Kaira, Chester, Agatha and Agacia's last day in BSC!!! How fast can it be?? Their 9 weeks and our 6 weeks together with them!

Will miss them alot! The fun, laughter and memories we shared together!!!!!!!!! All the best to all of them for their next stopover! KEEP IN CONTACT, TAKE CARE! :)

Will write till here, Nites Everyone! :)

loved

.Tuesday, July 27, 2010 ' 11:05 AM Y

Hi My Lovely Blog,

Right now, i am so bored. And i just wanna write something about my feelings for these few days.

Erm...how do I start?

Firstly...i wanna say Sorry to Tuck Seng. Sorry that i hurt u. I dun wish to hurt anyone!!! Haiz...It is so hard to break the truth to u...and I can only write here. I am very sorry. I noe no matter wat i said now...u still feel hurt. But i just wanna tell u that actually u r a great guy. I noe u care for me. But then i just can't accept u.

Though ppl might think that we seems to be together becos of the photos that we took together and judging from the number of outings we go out together but yet we r not. I hope u understand that erm. 如果要爱一个人，最重要的是感觉，喜欢，还有一点仰慕。。。才会慢慢。。。慢慢地产生的！虽然我承认，我还没忘记他。。。但其实问题并不仅仅出现在这件事上。。。Anyway i just hoped that u will be happy again.

Though this week i am actually quite packed but i still accompany u. Becos I noe that u r very moody. I dun mind pei u...just hope that u won't misunderstand my intention. I dun wish to give u anymore false hope cos i scared to hurt u again.

Actually U r very observant...U discover wat is my strength. However...u r not the type of guy I am looking for so...I hoped that we can be friends...but now i am just 走一天是一天。。。顺其自然。。。PLEASE DUN FORCE ME TO MAKE A DECISION. I just wanna live peacefully. Let nature take its own course.

Today get back ELDC grades - "B"

Though it is not very good...But i actually satisfied with it...cos i think i really dun deserve an "A"

Cos i was really very quiet in the group.

I also dun understand y from last time back to year 1 till now i am year 3...whenever discussing project...I will keep quiet...I cannot contribute any ideas...cos my mind was a total blank. I felt myself so useless sometimes. HAIZ. I really wanna contribute smth to the grp but my mind just follow my heart...my mouth just stamber down there...without saying words. I HATE MYSELF!

I can be very blur at times, lack of planning and quiet. WHY AM I LIKE THIS? In additionally, My codings are not strong at all! Which leads to I am not a sale oriented person or a technical person. I fail in both options. HAIZ. I wonder if next time i come outside to work. I will faced alot of problems. My boss, my colleagues will demand alot from me if i didn't met their expectation. They can be very harsh and direct to u...By saying that i think u r not suitable for this job. HAIZ. Dun wish to c this happening... And i hope for a change in me. I shd try to think when ppl was saying smth. Even it was wrong...i shd just tried. Just like last time what Sok Sok was always trying to tell me. They meant me well ... Of Cos.

I dunno y some people said that I choose ppl to be my friends. It is not so. My character is if i met someone who i feel comfortable to tok with...who have the same topic to talk with me....who is easygoing...I will be close to him/her. Whereas if someone who i think that we dun have any common topics to tok abt...I will just be normal friends with her.

IS THIS CALLED CHOOSING PPL? I feel so sad and hurt. But anyway...i noe y they say these...cos they dunno me too well yet...so they make this kind of prejudice.

Today went to watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice...It was a very nice show.

Will rate 5/5

loved

.Thursday, July 22, 2010 ' 1:44 AM Y

Your Life Path Number is: 7

The Thinker
The number seven is associated with knowledge and imagination. You are a logical person. You are likely to be very knowledgeable about the world around you. You love questioning about things you don't understand. You have a few but close friends. You are considered to be an intellectual person. You prefer peace and quiet in your surroundings.

Your Destiny Number is: 8
The number eight is associated with success and wealth. You are goal oriented and strive to go ahead in life. You prefer to be your own boss and do not like working under others. You follow your own judgement and rules. You want to be recognized because of your success and prosperity. You are most likely to succeed in business.

Your Soul Number is: 2
The number two is associated with peace and harmony. You are tactful in your dealings with people. People turn to you when there is a need to restore peace and order. You maintain balance in your thoughts and actions. You maintain very good relations with your family, friends, relatives and work colleagues. You are a large-hearted person.

Your Birthday Number is: 2

loved

. ' 12:18 AM Y

Today was a very screwed up day in my life! I HAVE NEVER FELT SO SCREWED UP TODAY!
Actually i think i am as fragile as a glass. Maybe like wat Rong Rong say...I am like a paper.

AM I WRONG TO SAY THAT WE SHOULD GIVE EACH OTHER SOME TIME TO COOL DOWN? COS I THINK WE HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEM. I AM ALSO HURT WHEN I SAY THESE TO U. I AM SORRY.

Tuck Seng....Can u pls dun act as if u noe me very well. SORRY...I noe u want to help me and Rong Rong. But i think i need to cool down and she also need. Though this is not the best way cos this is like running from the reality. But just a simple cool down perhaps when we think through everything...WE CAN FIND A WAY TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM.

RONG RONG, i am very sorry...I REALLY DUN MEAN TO HURT UR FEELING. I am also very sad when I message u. TRUE FRIENDSHIP CAN OVERCOME OBSTACLE! Maybe after this incident, our friendship will become more stronger. Give me some time and give urself some time.

I dunno wat to say already. I hope u understand wat am i thinking. Hope u can feel that SERIOUSLY, I DUN WISH TO LOSE U AS A FRIEND! IT IS A VERY EXPENSIVE PRICE TO PAY.

ALRIGHT, FOR NOW, I WILL WRITE TILL HERE.

loved

.Wednesday, July 14, 2010 ' 12:07 AM Y

HI BLOG, WE MEET AGAIN TODAY!!!

Today i feel much better as compared to yesterday. I would like to thanks MISS ONG RONG RONG for encouraging me and enlightening me!=) She is always there when I am down. I never realised that she becomes so strong after breaking up with SOFIAN. As compared to her, I felt myself so useless and inferior. I still living in the past. Like what she say, I should move on with my life. When I was sad, where is he? He is happily at another place. Why should i ever cry for him? But my memories is still making fun of me sometimes. Like today I went to the same sitting place at Hougang Macdonald. Suddenly, the memories flash through my mind and tears flowing down uncontrollably. I dunno y i will behave like this. I wanna to make myself more miserable by listening to emo songs and thinking abt the past. This will make me feel more terrible. Maybe i really 犯贱。。。NO MATTER WAT, THE PAIN IS STILL THERE, IN MY HEART FOREVER MAYBE TILL I FIND A NEW LOVE TO REPLACE THE SADNESS AND PAIN I HAVE HAD EXPERIENCED. But watever it takes, I need to have the determination to move on and stop all my emotional feelings. AS THEY SAY TIME WILL HEAL ALL WOUNDS. If there is a rewind button in my life, I rather join nanyang polytechnic chinese orchestra, perhaps i have not much time to work. And i won't be so close to ONG RONG RONG, DERRICK HO AND WONG XUE YUN. But up till now, I have not regretted joining pastamania and knowing them. They are my pillar of support! I noe they will always be there for me when i need them!

I just wanna say thank you to those who care and concern abt me. Xue Ling is grateful to all of u. THANK FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME NO MATTER WAT HAPPENS! I wish that if one day i am of any help for all of u, all of u can approach me and i will try to help!=) I will give all my available time to all of u.

loved